Sunday, November 29, 2015

Bad Memories - The Bully and Regret

No life gets boring with the memories of the past, with its glorious, unforgettable moments that will carry on for the rest of our lives.

But, how about a experience of a bully, with mere conscience and understanding of morals or ethics of today, that his or her actions of the past are considered 'regrettable' today?

BACKGROUND STORY

So, it is a nice conversation between three cousins, in which they find time talking about the past. First, it was a nice talk about the greatest memories that take place in elementary and high school - say, being a member of the band, playful memories, crushes, etc.

It was nostalgic at that moment, however, it becomes a pretty bit serious discussion when they already started to talk about the negative side. One of those three cousins is formerly a BULLY in such a manner that the reputation goes unpopular among friends and classmates at school.


The closest photo that depicts bullying.


These bully situations perhaps we say, are the following: (These are just samples)

  • Throwing a pencil to a girl who plays which later will be the one a bully love the most
  • Having a riot-like moment by having another girl throw some stones who makes her grandmother cried a lot considering that such girl has a heart problem
  • Having one-on-one fight with a peer which is a friend.
  • Boxing a cousin due to a little misfit.
  • Saying any vulgar words and shouting out loud
  • Saying false malaise to a teacher of any kind just to defend the bully himself.
  • Discriminatory, degrade-type thing that rips through the heart.
  • Blame games; accidentally pulling down a jogging pants spark a conflict.
  • Ripping a book of another classmate
  • Mocking a teacher simply due to grades, instructions
These are some of the other bully-type incidents that definitely rips the heart of the same bully many years later due to enlightenment - from egoistic to others-centered moral and ethical analogy.

HOW DOES IT FEEL?

One would say "it's my fault, really my fault" is indeed an easy to say kind of matter, but deep down in the heart, it hurts to find out that the mistakes that claims to be glorified in the past and was being remembered once again is like watching your kind of movie and you definitely disagree on what was being shown there. Admit on those mistakes was like shaming one's self right in front of the trusted people and can be used as a weapon to put the person down. Indeed, the bully thing can be used against the same person, even though the personality change as the time passes thanks to advises, socialization and realizations.

Regret, there is sense of regret. It is regrettable that a person who is formerly a bully will one day find out that such mistakes are much worse than anticipated; as if we already know that at the very start it is just plain wrong and is just a small matter, only to find out that the same chain of events can define a friendship, relationships and a person's personality in the near future. Some people cannot just move on in the past.

One would say "If I have that time machine, I can go back in the past to correct my mistakes once again." So as to speak, it is impossible to happen. It goes to the history of events that can be considered as 'memories worth remembering.' But do bully things badly need to be remembered in one's piece of time? The answer is yes, both for the victim and the oppressor. Inasmuch as both bears the same trauma on the events (with the victim suffer the most) it is a lesson that goes on and on and on, with the only choice left for a man, who is a former bully is to good the right things on this planet for the remaining years of his or her life.


Bullying has a later psychological effect - on both sides.


SIMPLY SAYING

As kids of the past, these cute little buddies love to play, play, and to do things without any worries in life, same goes with a group of teenagers socializing, doing the gimmicks and other forms of what so called 'tricks of the trade.' So as to speak, this things cannot go on without things that baffles one's life - which includes being the bully, whose purpose is to put a hegemonic approach to those who encounter him or her in the name of egoistic, self-interest. A bully will definitely achieve the things he or she wants by all means necessary, until one day, as a fully matured, grown up person, all of those things will end up in regret, something that will definitely never happen again.

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