Thursday, February 11, 2016

Originally Titled: JESUS BLESSED ME WITH A TORTURE OF HELL...
A real life supernatural event written by Saint Michaels Soldiers [link]
Pitzviews Note: The writer of this story, who is an admin of the Saint Michaels Soldiers, gives some story which is turning point of his life. And with that pertains that Hell, like Heaven, is indeed real... Read thoroughly, as suggested.



First let me begin by saying everything I write is true 100000%, as I know it, experienced it and now interpret it. I say this because some, if not many, may have a hard time believing my gift/miracle from God. But let me say this, everything I write I know to be true. If I lie or mislead may my soul be barred from heaven and cast into eternal damnation. There!! You will not get a better insurance policy for truth from a practicing Catholic then what I just pledged.
For the longest time I have struggled with what I am about to share with you. In fact for the longest time I accepted what took place as a punishment and not a gift. It was only and until I prayed for understanding to the Holy Spirit some 22 years later did I finally get my answer. Like it to say I am extremely relieved that I didn’t incur the wrath of the almighty but was taught an absolute truth by method of a hard lesson. Yes its cost seemed very, very steep but in short time you will know and agree why I now think I got off dirt cheap.
In order to understand what took place you will have to accept some reality’s that may be somewhat foreign to you, but again remember my pledge of damnation if I lie or mislead in anyway. Everything you’re about to read actually happened beginning around 1989 through 1992 culminating with today as you read this. For many reasons I kept it to myself. Some obvious, others not. You are the first, except for a small handful of confidants, who have heard this story. It wasn’t till recently when I finally realized the awesome gift I had received I determined to tell as many people as I can. What took place wasn’t just for me, it was for all of you too.
There are 3 types of grace; Sanctifying, habitual and actual grace. The Catechism Catholic Church says, in part; “Sanctifying grace is a habitual gift, a stable and supernatural disposition that perfects the soul itself to enable it to live with God, to act by his love. Habitual grace, the permanent disposition to live and act in keeping with God's call, is distinguished from actual graces which refer to God's interventions, whether at the beginning of conversion or in the course of the work of sanctification.”
Let’s not mince words, I was heading to straight to hell. Yup front row, first class no if’s ands or buts about it. Funny thing is I never saw it that way. I actually considered myself a pretty good guy. I didn’t steal. Heck, I shoveled my elderly neighbor’s driveway when it snowed, that had to count for something, wouldn’t it? Oh my list of accolades I counted on were far and wide. Of course I never really considered all the pre marital sex, and there was allot. All the drinking & drugs, and again there was allot. The false God’s and Idol worship which is code for materialism. Oh I excelled in such a sinful way, not even realizing my failures because as I said, “I was a good guy” right? But in myself absorption I racked up wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony and maybe attended mass every so often when it fit my schedule. The sacraments? Nahhh I was a good guy those were for sinners and that was certainly not who I was.
1987 I brought my family to La Salette, a Catholic shrine in Attleboro, MA. where they put up 2 million lights and many religious themed events every Christmas. My father asked me to go to confession as they offer it perpetually during the event’s and festivities. I fought him on it but soon relented. It had been many, many, many years since I had been, because who needed it right? After all I was a good guy! So In I went and eagerly sat face to face. I don’t really remember the whole conversation but bits and pieces. The form was strict but quickly fell into a deep philosophical discussion. The Priest was very warm, interested and engaging. I was given absolution and it felt good, different. When I emerged happy at the new man I had just become I looked at the frowns and dissatisfied looks upon my familial entourage who were waiting for me in the chapel. Not realizing what it was that had them all upset I asked why the faces? It was then I was told I had been in the confessional for about 2 hours and fifty minutes! Please understand I am NOT making fun or light of sin or the sacrament of reconciliation. I am trying to set the foundation of this story and maybe getting through to anyone who is today where I was then.
Now please understand I always had an abundance of faith my life. I always defended the church against the onslaught of secular humanism and even modernism and always Protestantism. My upbringing was all Catholic all the time. It was my practices and choices that would not even suggest the later. I was kind of a paradox arguing faith and religion and going out and doing everything contrary. After all I was a good guy and good guys don’t go to hell, right?
I mentioned the La Salette incident because I always felt deep down that was a catalyst or turning point in my life. About two years later, upon the prodding of concerned parents and the knowledge they had I found myself on a plane heading to Medjugorje in the former Yugoslavia to see about these so called apparitions. What should have been an 18 hour flight took us over 3 days. Yup even then Satan was fighting to keep me in his fold. I remember many in our tour group wanting to cancel and go home but somehow I was the one who emerged the leader saying "Let’s keep going..." and we did.
Being raised in a strict Catholic environment I found myself in very familiar surroundings but then again something was much different. My first time going into the Church, Saint James if memory serves, I found these familiar surroundings to be electrifying. Mass was in
progress and the whole church erupted in Ave Maria and it was like you stood in a choir of angels. My first prayer was, "Okay God I am here and I honor you but do you think you could do something about me kneeling on these cold, hard stone tiles?" and somehow, some way
through my whole time there my knees never felt out of place. In fact I swear I was kneeling on pillows and not the cold hard tiles sometimes for an hour or more which if you knew my knees is a miracle in itself!!
The week (now 3 days due to travel) went great and I found myself at peace and happy that I went. What happened next is what I want to tell you.
The message of Medjugorje is "Prayer, fast and conversion". I brought that message home with me and decided to try and live it. I found myself seeking what it was that I tasted in that small village in a Communist country and gravitated to our local religious store where I
bought all manner of things specifically prayer books, how to and the actual prayers themselves.
Every morning I would arise and pray at least fifteen minutes. During the day I would pray as I was doing things that didn’t take my focus and upon the evening I would further engage in both prayer and all things God. My new found focus which in many ways became an obsession.
Can’t explain it and I don't think I have to try but within me there came such a change. Things that mattered didn’t anymore and all I wanted was to consume more of what I tasted. While I would dread going to mass before I actually found myself going two times one Christmas
and enjoying every minute of both. That is quite a change but more so upon my trip the local Sheriff was with us, who he himself made I think about 40 trips in all to Medjugorje who said to me, 'From crime to Christ?"
But here is where it gets interesting;
As I said prayer was a HUGE part of my life now as was fasting and the sacraments especially reconciliation (confession) as I found myself doing each with great pleasure, quite often and unwavering resolve.
What I say now I do with love. I am not being condescending but am conveying what I know and have experienced. I say it in these terms because if I hadn’t experienced it I would not understand it either. Many of you may not fully grasp or understand this but grace is very, very, very real. It is quantifiable, recognizable and real. It is not something any human measure could ascertain but you know it when it is within you. You know it when you see it and once you have it you never ever want to let it go. Grace is obtained one way and one way only. Prayer, fasting and the sacraments but more importantly as a gift from God. I know all this first hand. As I continued on my spiritual journey I felt this boat load of grace (for lack of a better term) envelope me. It was gradual but persistent. The type of feeling the Saints and Mystics write about whereby they know their spirit has found communion with God and your existence has changed forever for the better I may add. This was it!! Everything I had heard of and was working towards it would seem was at hand. I found my prayer becoming much deeper and reflective and my spiritual life had reached a point that no words of mine can do justice.
As I stated earlier there are 3 types of grace; Sanctifying, habitual and actual grace. The CCC says, in part; “Sanctifying grace is a habitual gift, a stable and supernatural disposition that perfects the soul itself to enable it to live with God, to act by his love. Please remember my pledge as to truth and honesty. I have studied grace and because of what I have learned and experienced I can say without hesitation I was in sanctifying grace and from this I received a great many supernatural gifts directly from heaven.
I cannot fully express what a sense of being it is. The communion of one’s soul by just a glimpse of the almighty is so indescribably beautiful yet so real. This is not some psychological delusion (as you will soon see) that those who have freely forfeited their grace, soul would try and argue but a real, quantifiable, supernatural communion of your spirit to that of the Holy Spirit. And man oh man there is absolutely nothing like it!!
It would be a sin for me not to mention a couple of the many gifts that came with such a state of grace. Prayers which I had tendered many times before were answered in an instant to the actual protection of my Guardian Angel from physical harm.
I had lost my license to drive for 30 days as I got too many speeding tickets. Angry and upset I was just going to drive any way. Before I did I sat in my bed one morning and said, “okay if I shouldn’t drive please tell me so” and thumbed through the Bible letting the pages sift through my fingers quickly stopping abruptly wherever the spirit moved me and, well, just read; Romans 13:1 “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.” I just sat there and laughed…..
Another instance was I was working construction building a house. I was using a nail gun lifted over my head securing strapping and the gun misfired. I literally saw the nail flying directly for my eye which was just two feet away at about 50 MPH, but I saw it in slow motion, and all of a sudden WAPPPPPPP that nail was struck by an invisible force which changed its trajectory to a hard 90 degree left turn away from my eye. It was heading directly for my eye until my Guardian Angel slapped it and saved me. (Thanks GA!!)
I have many more instances like above that I could add if what I have already said is not enough. But I will fulfill my promise of miracles and gifts as this story goes much deeper, gets much better...
Naturally my new lease on life, being truly “born again” by works and faith came with many changes. First among them was the old crew was gone and in came a bunch of priests, religious and holy innocents (that’s lay people). We would find ourselves doing what bird’s of this feather that flock together would do. Such as all thing’s Catholic. Prayer, invocation’s, consecrations. Meals, projects and the like. Of course much of it also came with social interaction and conversation and with a priest it would usually be about 100 questions.
I had befriended a very liberal, modernist priest whom we will call “Fr. Xxm” I found myself always getting under his skin (ha,ha,ha I have a way of doing that) and our world view’s would not, could not meet in any number of issues of the day. But one day he said something I found beyond odd, which I’ll say what it is in a minute, but this oddity was beyond just one of many. Being very new to all this “Catholic stuff”, at least to the level I am describing, I remained very susceptible to what anyone in authority was telling me, especially a priest. Though I would listen and try to be obedient I could not accept what he said allot of the time. But I was internally conflicted because he was a priest after all and on matters of faith, dogma and me being a “holy innocent”, I had no other option then to defer to his education, training and backing of the magisterium. After all we are supposed to speak in one voice, correct?
So one night after concluding the rosary, about twelve of us in my living room, talking all things catholic was when the “oddity” Fr. Xxm had spoken popped into my head. I, for whatever reason, decided I was going to offer what Fr. Xxm had said to me. After all, I was only repeating what a priest had told me was his belief and understanding. While his teaching was “odd” to me, and that is a very nice way of explaining it, it was in no way a lie. I wasn’t under any bond of secrecy. I was not starting scandal…. I saw no reason why I shouldn’t, couldn’t or wouldn’t toss it in the ring for discussion. In fact none of those things came into my mind as it was nothing more than repeating what someone had said
Now here is where you have to apply your faith accept my every word. Just imagine someone speaking directly into the center of your head, not whispering, but direct, clear, powerful modulation. It is not heard by anyone except you, by you and only you, in the center of your head as others sat around you as if nothing happened. That is exactly what happened and it is called a “locution” and the Holy Spirit or Jesus himself tendered these words;
“DON’T SAY IT!!!”
When I tell you this was said, believe me it was said. The clarity, intensity and yes level of modulation actually startled me. I don’t want to say frightened but it clearly startled me. This next part I have regretted since and still feel bad and or stupid as I reacted instantly to the startle and responded not in a yell but certainly not as anyone responding to the voice of God should;
“OKAY”
Yes, like a fool, I think I kind of yelled at God but not really, and I didn’t mean it!!! It was a reaction to my startle and I simply responded. Whether God knew this and used it to my advantage I will only understand at some point but what happens next….
In an instant my mind went blank. Everything I had just experienced was wiped from memory as it never had happened. This means the majestic command that penetrated my mind, soul as well as my promise of “OKAY” not to say what it was that Fr. Xxx had said. It was all gone in a snap of a finger, GONE!!!
Well if you haven’t figured it out yet, yup I did exactly what I was told not to do because, after all, my mind was blank and I was not wiser to the matter and as if on cue I blurted;
“Fr. Xxx says there is no hell”
In an instant, after I said it, my full memory that was temporarily blocked was restored. Like a dam that just broke every instant of the events leading up to this point was fully restored in an instant. And in an instant I knew what I had done.
The reason why I had written in the beginning so much about grace is because in the very next instant after reality set in I felt ALL my sanctifying grace leave my body. Like I said, a dam that has ruptured it all flew out of my soul. I felt it go. This is why I say how grace is a quantifiable quantity because I have felt it come slowly and go instantaneously.
I can’t begin to tell you how devastated I was. In the one instant being in total communion with God and the next losing it all. The feeling is horrible, cold, alone, displaced, without love, empty but most importantly it is the loss of God. And that is what I did, I lost God.
I went in to the television room and sat alone for ten minutes and tried to reconcile what had just happened. I was mystified… It was allot to handle. I couldn’t understand why God would do this to me. I apologized for a number of things but was mostly silent as you could imagine this was allot to take in.
For the longest time I tried to understand why Jesus would do this to me, strip me of my grace. Was it because I was startled and reacted harshly? Could it be because I spoke badly about a priest, even though I was only repeating what he said? I could not understand it nor reconcile it except for the fact it was real.
You know in many ways this fits into my life of extremes. For those of you who know me will understand or relate and those of you who don’t just know my life is one extreme event after another. Nothing comes my way half hearted. Its two feet outside the box at all times. So here I was joining my friends to say the rosary, talk about religion, have dinner and enjoy some company and I end up yelling at God and losing all my grace. If you live to one million I bet you will never hear anything like this again?
This happened a little over twenty years ago and I have spun this in my mind trying to understand what it was, why it was that all my grace was stripped from me. As I stated earlier I shared this with very few confidants and none of them could put their finger on it. I kept running through the loud response and the speaking ill of a priest, after all that is what happened correct?
It wasn’t till six months ago or there about it was suggested I pray for a direct answer and so I decided too. In my prayers I would ask for vision and understanding of what happened and why that night I was punished so greatly. Please understand for twenty years I thought I had committed a great sin against Our Lord because the truly sanctifying grace and communion with Jesus I was given was taken from me for doing what I was told not to. I should also note I never achieved the level of sanctifying grace I had, that I lost, again. As a side note, while I would love to get back to “that place” of grace, if I don’t its okay in the terms I feel so blessed to have tasted the promised state of eternal ecstasy even if it was just for a very short time.
It wasn’t till a few months ago I was re reading the diary of sister Faustina. Many of you know her by the divine mercy chaplet and also the picture of Jesus where the three beams of light are shooting from his heart and the inscription says, “Jesus I trust in you”.
Jesus spoke to sister Faustina many, many times and she wrote all of it down in her diaries. The church has accepted her visions and diaries as authentic and “worthy of belief”. In one of her encounters with God she was taken to hell. I will let you read it in part, but verbatim; " Today, I was led by an Angel to the chasms of hell. It is a place of great torture; how awesomely large and extensive it is! The kinds of tortures I saw: the first torture that constitutes hell is the loss of God;…”
Did you catch that, “…The loss of God”? Here I was about to say, “…there is no hell..” and within a second I lost God. All my sanctifying grace was taken back, my communion with God gone. I felt the first torture of hell!!! It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had read that many, many times before but never made the connection. After praying for an answer it was revealed to me clearly. I couldn’t believe that I now, finally understood what it was that I was being taught;
Hell is real! And you better believe it…..
For some twenty years I have carried the guilt of not knowing what I did to incur the wrath of God, the loss of God himself and what it all meant. But now I understand what happened was a gift, a message from heaven. Not just for me but for everyone to read, know and hopefully accept. I am very sad that my grace was taken, but if it can be used to lead souls back to God, the reality that hell exists and it is for all eternity then I have gladly accepted God’s plan and would of given it up sooner.
Many people don’t realize that Jesus spoke more of hell then he did heaven. It’s true. Our Lord emphasized the wages of sin is eternal damnation in a fiery pit called Hades. None of us are beyond the reality of being sent there though you would not even know it existed if you listen too many who are vowed to lead and save souls. Yes Jesus is love and he died for us for this there is no doubt. But unfortunately in today’s church of “nice” it is almost taboo to speak of such things. How can that be? Jesus speaks of hell more than heaven but the mere mention of it is almost stricken from the pulpit because, well you figure that one out.
There is much to think about in all I have tendered. Unfortunately many will read this and discount me as delusional or having a psychological episode. There will be those of you who read this and well no explanation is necessary as your faith abounds. Most importantly though I will hope that everyone accepts the fact that everything you do, and don’t do, will be accounted for. There is NO makeup test. Once done that’s it it’s for all eternity. The saints who have had visions of hell all report the perpetual remorse of those condemned for eternity because each made bad decisions and realize there is no way out.
The people who ended up in hell never thought they would be going there and those who end up in heaven are surprised they made it to heaven. Which group do you belong?
Lastly for those of you who have read this all the way through I am worried about “Fr. Xxx”. I can’t help but think he may be condemned for his teaching against clearly held dogma of the Catholic Church. That said I ask all of you to please pray for him. His mind was clearly in the wrong place but his heart was not. His name was Father Tom and I ask you say this prayer for his soul;
Mother of our Redeemer, in this era dedicated to you, with great joy we call you blessed. You believed in the Word of God the Father and declared yourself His handmaid, and so, through you, the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us. We salute you as Mother, our Mother, and the Mother of the Church. With what great love you must have watched over the infant Church and what motherly solicitude encouraged the apostles as they committed themselves to carry on the work of Your Divine Son on earth. Make the Church ever to be the sign and instrument of intimate union with God.
To you, our Mother, we entrust in a special way Father Tom. To him was given a vocation in the priesthood of Your Divine Son. He was chosen to be a minister of the word and sacrament and now he has been called home.
We pray that your son forgive any transgression against any article of faith and mediate against the good he has done. We are all human and fallible to the lies and traps of the devil. Only you know the increased trials your Priests face. Please take into consideration the joy and love he faithfully spread in your name and his loyalty to the sacraments even though he questioned some clearly held dogmas.
Remind your son of Father Tom’s zeal, which he believed he was faithful and joyful in His service, conscious of the fact that many people counted on him to minister and did his best to bring glory to the Father and honor to the Church.
Holy Mother, increase the ranks of our priests by inspiring our young people to be more generous in their response to serve Jesus in the priesthood and in religious life.
Sustain all of us, O Virgin Mary, on our journey of faith and obtain for us, and Father Tom, the grace of eternal salvation.
Amen.

This note is for dissemination and as well for enlightenment. Notes given from Saint Michaels Angels. Don't hesitate to share.

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